Sunday, August 21, 2011

If arrogance was a dance, I'll dance with it forever

The Legged Fish (my skills at swimming)


Feast your eyes upon the cheetah of the water,
for even the great shark cowers at the power of this otter,
where her towering swimming lore of authenticity is famous,
for it's every champion's fantasy,
despite it's an obvious dead man's fancy.


Audience, fans, behold and revere in my presence,
I know your trembling amidst your nonexistence
My might you fear as I come near 
is understandably quite clear,
as I see questioning me you never dare.


Tumultuous waves are in shame, 
my strokes and kicks control the game
The sea wishes to compare,
but my skills are so well prepared
like a stuntman before the leap into the air.


Envy, you may, for I permit, 
but you know there more than you admit
that my talent exceeds and surpass all norm
because at the end of day you'll find you're sworn
of which my greatness you're very much drawn.

14 comments:

  1. I like the way the whole poem is surrounding the theme of sea, otter, waves although you are actually bragging yourself. It really skilled to boast while making it seems humble by describing about Nature. Also by saying that " you are very much drawn" to imply failing sounds much profound.

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  2. I'm actually talking about my swimming skills... :p

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  3. This is hilarious! Your swimming skills must be really great, Angela. I really like how each line is about you conquering something different, first people, then sea creatures, then the water itself. The lines flow smoothly and each verse has great rhythm. Nice piece, here. :D

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  5. I like the rhythm of the poem.
    "My might you fear as I come near 
    is understandably quite clear,
    as I see questioning me you never dare."
    I like this sentence, because it has the strong beat that makes me never question you.
    Love your title for sure !!!!

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  6. Angela! I bet you are really good a swimming, "Feast your eyes upon the cheetah of the water, for even the great shark cowers at the power of this otter" love this line when you said even great shark can not compeat with you. If you can really swim as fast as a cheetah, your name will appear in Guinness World Records!!!

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  7. Angela~~ I like the poem a lot, how you replaced yourself with an otter haha~~ my favorite part is where you mentioned

    "Tumultuous waves are in shame"

    Puts you in a position higher than nature~~

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  8. haha... Ange, this is one of the most boastful poem ever. It's absolutely epic and awesome! Love your final two lines, "because at the end of day you'll find you're sworn
    of which my greatness you're very much drawn." It shows how powerful and boastful you are about yourself.

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  9. "Tumultuous waves are in shame, my strokes and kicks control the game.The sea wishes to compare,
    but my skills are so well prepared"
    I love how you compare yourself with the ocean, it kind of draws the pictures in my head.

    More, you use sea animals to show the look of the ocean, by reading your poem I can actually smell the ocean when you are reading: ) nice

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  10. Well written poem. I like how I am able to picture you amplifying your talent in the pool instead of seeing you standing on the shallow end. The first line, "Feast your eyes upon the cheetah of the water" is also interesting because you compare cheetah(land animal) to your swimming skills which takes place under water. The contrast is really creative.

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  11. Tumultuous waves are in shame, 
    my strokes and kicks control the game.
    It sounds as winning isn't enough; it has to be done with elegance. The rhythm applied to every line, and it clearly conveyed the great impossibilities to defeat you.

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  12. Haha love this line "Feast your eyes upon the cheetah of the water" seems like you can swim really fast haha~ I know you swim a lot recently!!! good job on describing that!!!

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  13. I love this poem, and there were pictures appearing in my mind when i'm reading it. You literally turned yourself into a mermaid lol. Awesome rhyme, awesome content, awesome Mulan! "Audience, fans, behold and revere in my presence,
    I know your trembling amidst your nonexistence" yeah I feel so weak and small compared to your greatness XD Can you really swim this well? because you poem is so awesome I feel like you should attend the Olympic!

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  14. TOAST score (see Mr. Webb's blog): 35/40

    T: 10/10.
    O: 5/5. Didn't know you were a master swimmer! And apparently a budding rap star, to boot!
    A: 8/10. Did you put any kennings in here?
    S: 2/5. WERE YOUR STANZAS IN WATER COLORS? Sweeeeet...
    T: 10/10.

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